Dear Walmart Check-out Lady

All the riff-raff was out shopping today. Walmart was packed. The (too few) checkout lines that were open had lines so long they curved along the main walking area (you know, it’s not an aisle but between the checkout lines and jewelry counter/clothing sections). It took 45 minutes to get through the check-out.

Dear Walmart check-out lady:

I waited in the check-out line for 45 minutes. I noticed once I got up where I could see you (and the point of no return), that you’re a gabber. When I was next in line you were gabbing incessantly with the person in front of me as if you knew her, but I know you didn’t because you were asking her “getting to know you” questions like whether she had kids. Also, I noticed you were running items along the scanner at the pace of about one item per sentence! And this is not your fault, but the woman you were waiting on had her own reusable bags which took you forever to set up in the bagging carousel. And then, the woman had the nerve to use cash! Counted out exact change! Actually, she counted out the wrong change so she had to dig more change out of her purse! Errr! Well, checkwriters are even slower. Debit cards (which I use), you run through after your groceries are loaded on the conveyer, and it’s all set when the total is ready. You get your receipt, you’re on your way.

On top of all of this general slowness, you were training the guy next to you and had to go answer a question or help him every two minutes. In that case, you really should have been hauling ass while your were at your post.

So, when you’re waiting on me, please do not try to engage me in conversation. We are not going to become buddies while you’re ringing up my cartload of consumables including my defrosting frozen items and quickly curdling milk and rotting meat. Quit yacking, do your job, and pull my shit across the scanner dohickey like the speed demon you should be. Why do we not have automated check-outs?

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