Ron’s working, Jamie’s at her dad’s (it’s her 12th birthday today), and later this afternoon Ty left for work.
This morning, I had to take Sarah to the lab for some routine bloodwork,
and there was only one phlebotomist working. It took three or four pokes on each arm with a lot of screaming and squirming, and much of my strength to restrain her.
I saw the friend-whose-birthday-I-missed’s new boyfriend who I had never met before but recognized from pictures, when we came out of the lab. I was struggling with Sarah and she was screaming. I said it was nice to meet him and that I wished I had been able to go the other night, then I was on my way because Sarah wasn’t stopping to let me chat.
I brought her home, gave her a snack and took her for a walk outside where, while passing a man and his dog on the sidewalk, Sarah stomped and screeched and I guess scared the dog who then tried to reach her and nip at her.
We finished our walk and came in, and Sarah wanted to go the the basement where she likes to be pushed around and around the pool table in the office chair. I decided to text “friend” and apologize again (I also texted on her birthday apologizing, with no response) for missing the celebration and mentioned that I bumped into the boyfriend. And once again I got no response to my apology. She responded to my text, but not specifically to my apology or to the fact that I didn’t make it to the bar. I don’t know, I guess some forgiveness would be nice, or a “that’s alright, maybe next time”, or something. She actually stood me up once when we planned for her to come over to sit out by the fire and have some wine. When she realized she forgot, she apologize profusely and I said “no problem, I know you’ve been busy. We’ll plan something another time.” Oh well, I guess it shouldn’t matter.
After a few rounds with the chair and then “one more time, then back upstairs”, she went up fine. While I was making her lunch, she played in her room but she opened her door on her own – a new thing – and ran out to the kitchen screaming impatiently for her lunch which was cooking on the stove. I had to repeatedly tell her she needs to sit down and wait. She got mad, grabbed whatever she could reach including the cat dish full of food and threw it. I hauled her back down to her room for “time out” and told her she needed to calm down and stop screaming.
She spent a good 10 minutes in her room screaming, kicking, hitting the walls and windows, without giving up. Lunch was done so I went to her room where she was still screaming, tears and snot dripping, and red-faced. I put her on her bed and told her to calm down, “no screaming” “stop screaming and you can come out and have lunch” “do you want lunch?” “Stop screaming” – as she continued to scream and I continued to try to keep her on her bed. This went on for a while until for just a split second she quieted, so at that moment I got her up and out the door.
Lunch went okay and she ate well. Dayhab came and did another walk-around with her in the basement then took her for a drive to go somewhere for a walk outside. Days like this I am SO grateful for dayhab. Problem is she is so hard to teach, she has no speech, and is very persistent and impatient, and does not like to wait or stop for anything. The screaming is getting worse, along with the hitting and throwing, but I’m trying time-outs – a trial to see if she can learn discipline. She can learn bad habits like obsessing about things and “screaming gets them to say ‘okay okay’ and give me what I want, so she should be able to learn ‘screaming doesn’t get me what I want, being quiet and waiting does’. And I am making her pick up an item every time she throws it and saying “no throw”. I give her chances – if she throws an item a third time, I pick it up and put it up where she can see it but tell her she can’t play with it if she throws it.
So that was my day up until about 1:30. After that, I did a couple of chores including cooking up hamburger for later and cleaning up dog pee, then watched my dog have a seizure, talked to my other daughter on the phone and she told me all about all of the wonderful gifts her dad got her, which is good because I can’t afford any. Then I read online for awhile and decided to make a blog post. Ugh. Crap, I was hoping to enjoy the peace and quiet a little longer but sigh… here we go. This is my life.