I am trying something new. Sometimes at interviews, I feel like I’m trying to be someone I’m not and come off as fake. From now on, WYSIWYG. If you hire me, you will get the awkward chick who admits to having stalked you online before meeting you (and blogs about it). You’ll get the weird burgundy red dyed hair, nose ring and polka-dotted tights.

I had to take online assessments of my knowledge of Word, Excel, simple math, grammar and spelling. Of all things, the Word test had to mess up on me. I SWEAR I KNOW HOW TO COPY AND PASTE THINGS USING KEYBOARD SHORTCUTS. I do it literally ALL OF THE TIME. Ctrl C and Ctrl V didn’t work nor did highlighting, right clicking, and copying then clicking into the other thing, right clicking and pasting. (See? I know!) Did not work. I flunked Word. An application a blind monkey could use. I’ve taken Java and VB for gawd sake. I did all but like two of the math problems in my head (before I realized, ‘Oh yeah, duh, I can minimize this test and find the calculator. Psshh.’) So I’m not stressing about that. But there was a personality test, too. Gawd help me.

I really really really REALLY want to work full-time again and I would really really REALLY REALLY like to work at this place. I mean, when I did my pre-interview testing pre-stalking I saw they had karaoke and hoverboard races at their company Christmas party. Hello??? Sign me up!

I’m good at what I do. Please hire me. Time to put the Law of Attraction to use. I work there already! I’m so grateful to have been hired! I love it! Yay work!

UPDATE: Got an interview. That’s how it’s done, kids. Be awkward. Admit to Internet stalking, dye your hair a weird bright burgundy color the week before, wear polka-dotted tights, and forget to take out your nose ring. Be sure to look good on paper for good measure. 😛

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