Couchsurfing and Dreams of Traveling

I got an email from couchsurfing.com which prompted me to read a bunch of profiles. Well-traveled people have the most interesting lives. I would love to be able to do that, just travel from place to place and line up people to stay with along the way, get some local-guided experiences, meet people, explore and go on to the next place. If I could go back and beat the shit out of young me… Or just knock some sense into me. Was I not aware traveling was something I could do? Did I really have no idea what to do in life or how to go about it? I don’t know how many times these thoughts have rolled around in my head. We never went anywhere when I was a kid. I never flew on a plane until I was 26. My mother never had a driver’s license so I never went very far even within the state. I had no idea. I had no dreams, no aspirations. Things like traveling abroad were not anywhere near my realm of possibility. College, career, same thing. I resent that somewhat. Not being exposed to possibilities beyond what I grew up with. Not being encouraged and guided to reach higher for life experiences. Now I’m that middled-aged mother who feels like a butterfly trapped in a glass jar. I see all of these possibilities I’ve never been able to realize. I want to fly. Some days I really think a lot about what it would be like to disappear and just couchsurf across the country and abroad (and make a fool of myself when I realize back home I’m a missing person and it’s all over the Internet).

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